It is about three am in the morning. it never fails I have been woken up. I did not think I would be writing on my blog page tonight. I was awakened because I have added another panic attack. For most of you all I want to share that I have now been having these attacks for a few months. My life has not gotten easier not at all. I have tried and tried my best to do all that I can. But my storm is not going away anytime soon. I still do believe that God is Fighting for me. I do know that God is in control. I just think – believe that his plans so big for my life. I am not sure why this fight in my life has been going on for so long. I do want this to be over wit as well. Nevertheless, the storm is not changed but, I will not stop having faith in My God. I am writing to you tonight because as I sit here and try to work out my panic attack. I got an alert on my phone from this blog. Someone has sent me a message saying that they like my blog called Fighting for us.
Again, As I was trying to just work out my panic attack. So, I grabbed my cell phone to see what my message said for that post. It brought tears to my eyes.
If I can say my thoughts are still the same as that night or early morning that I wrote that post. God has a plan for me as well as he has a plan for you. You may not be in a struggle or maybe you are.
No matter what you are facing today know no matter how long that struggle-storm is lasting. And if you are following me for any point of time. You see that my struggle is not getting any easier in fact, I have been struggling more and more.
However, and this may be a fact to hold on to as you read my words of struggle. Please know GOD is working on your struggle-storm.
I will not believe any different. I can share I have been fighting in this struggle for more than I would like to be. I am and have been crying out too many to help me. As I have also been crying out to my God, (my lord and savior).
People love me; however, I have gotten less and less help as time has gone by. My church I hate to say I feel has not helped me as well. But I am not mad at anyone for I know the plans God has for me is greater than anyone can imagine. I do not know why no one has helped me from this point but, what I will say I do know all of them the people that I have spoken with for help. I do pray that they are at least praying for me to have a change in my longtime struggle-storm.
As I write this to you all out there in this world. Please understand God is working it out. For I will never lose my faith in My God.
I as I write this, I have asked my Alexa device to play a song or two.
Guess what it was or still is out of the box. Let me share I did ask her to play just a song from my favorite artist which is Anthony Evans. I really thought Fighting for us would come up. But it did not the song that did was or is called Do it again.
As I sit here and write I am listening to the song with crying. For you must listen to the words to it.
I feel that tonight this is just another sign that God is in the mist of it all.
He is working it out I do not like the struggle or how it has lasted so long. However, I do not look at the signs that I got tonight as nothing.
He God is listening to me. I do not hear from him as much as I use to. But that will never stop from knowing that he has me in the palm of his hand.
He has all of us there in his palm and let me share no one can pull us from his palm.
Yes, my storm is getting harder the waves of this storm are making me sick. However, he did it before the God will do it again. I Know this for shore. I am not sure at all when my storm will end but I need you to know as you may be going through something as well. Just hang on
My faith and my strength in the Lord will not waver.
I pray as you read this post and other blog posts from me. You hang on too. If your struggle is hard. Even if your struggle is not there yet. I pray you never have a struggle but, God states that if we are his children in this world, we will have a trial or two,
One may be asking how you do stay faithful as this struggle has gone on for so long.
Well, my answer is just with what Anthony Evans is singing with this song do it again.
I have seen him work time and time again no matter the answer God has made it work out better than I could have ever done or imagine.
Yes, I have lost my sight truly now being almost totally blind. I do not like it for sure.
However, God said in his word that he knows the plans he has made for me. He knows or knew me before I was in my mothers womb. He may take his time but, As the song says Anthony Evans is singing it so well. In my home I have it as loud as I can at this time of the morning.
I know the night will not last. Jesus you are still enough. I will sing your praises again. Your promise still stands. I am still in your hands. I know the God will never fail me.
I pray that you know this as well.
I do believe. I have known doubt that we will see God work it out for his glory. For my storm is larger than I would ever want it to be or last. When my storm has passed. I will be able to show all of you that there is a god. That God worked it out and there will be no one to give credit to other then God.
That all the people that I have cried out to knew that it was God. There will be no one that can take the credit for my storm changing.
I pray as you read this you if you are not a believer you understand. That we are in this world for really a short time so please rethink about finding God. Learning about him and his son. I promise you and I do not like to promise anything. For because I know a promise is a big thing in my book.
No matter what you are going through the God will get you through it.
I know my struggle is big and going on for longer than I want it too. My panic attacks are not good. however, and I know I keep on saying however but please let me share HE IS THEREFOR YOU the God is really going to work it all out. I know this for sure no matter how hard this storm is. No matter how long it takes I will have faith in my lord. My trust is not waving my love for him Jesus is growing bigger and bigger. I can say this for I have seen him work before so I know he will work again. Yes, Anthony tonight you sing it to me He did it before he will do it again.
I pray your storm does not last if mine has. I pray for you that you hear my words. Truly believe and have faith in him. Jesus died for us; the Jesus will cry out with you in prayer for God to answer your prayer. If you can hold on, he knows what he is doing. I know this storm is very large, but my lord is bigger than it. I pray for Peace for you and myself. Just keep speaking with him in prayer, get out your bible and just read even if you do not understand it. Ask him for all you need. Believe me I do this too. I am writing to you while I am in a struggle- storm. mine has lasted for more time than I want it too. But again, I will just keep on believing that God has it. I am not Job, but I will keep my faith and on my God. I love you all. I do not know when or how it will end. BUT I do know it is for his Glory and nothing will be wasted. He will give you back all the time that the storm was had taken from you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I do not like this storm. I do not like the panic attacks. But I do know you have me in the palm of your hand. I will stay faithful to you. I will keep on sharing that you will come through for me. As well, as you will come through for any of your children. I know you’re not one to take more time than you need to. No matter how I hate how long this is taking. My trust in you is growing my story of faith is growing as well. I know you will give me back all the time it took to get through this storm. I pray for my readers they see that my storm is large, but I just keep sharing that you are larger than it. That if I can do it with you by my side they can too. That you do know what you are doing. Please just give me and them the peace we need to get through it all. Please father as well as I do netspeak about the bad things that are going on you protect me from anyone that may feel like they know your plans for me better than they do. That you are my protector all and through it all. That I can walk in this world being safe with you and only your protection over me. That no weapon will come over me. I know we are in the palm of your hands. I thank you for that. Please help your children that do not have the strength to see your hand in their life. Thank you for ending this storm right on time.
Love you always your child.
In your son’s name Jesus Christ Amen